Scared.

I’m terrified of the future. As optimistic I try to view this world, I know by experience already that life doesn’t always turn out the way we want it too. That there will always be tribulations and unexpected events that will turn our lives upside down and challenge us. 

I look around at the biggest people of my life and I’m afraid that they one day won’t be part my life any more. That all I’ll have of them are memories of thinking years ago that they would never leave. It’s scary thinking how my dreams and goals may not come true and I may be one of those people one day struggling to survive and be happy each day. It’s even frightening to think that I won’t find someone that I love and loves me back and I’ll be alone. It’s scary to think that right now might be the best that I may ever feel or will ever have. 

And it scary to know how mysterious and unknown the future is. Even though I hate admitting that, I know it will always be in the back of my mind. But it doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t be courageous enough to face the future, because for every negative side of it all, there are positives things that could happen. You could grow old with people you love, your dreams could come true, and the one you always been searching for could finally be found.

You will never know what the future will bring. It’s okay to be scared of it, but always look forward to it. It might turn out all okay in the end.

What Else Is Out There

One day I want to know what else is out there. I want to travel this world to finally get to see how vast and unknown this world really is. And I mean to really see it. Life just becomes so chaotic and hectic that we get stuck in this cycle of repetition and getting this stuck in this bubble of our lives, that we forget to just take a breath and enjoy how beautiful this world really is.

Especially when the moments when the weight of the world seems to be crashing down on us, seeing what else is out there and just getting lost in adventure of realization of how small we are in this world and how much we yet to experience, live for, and how many places and people there are to go to and meet seems like something to look forward to.

Make a Wish

Didn’t we all make a wish at one point of our lives, just for that small chance that our deepest desires may come true? You know all those times when you see a shooting star above you in the majestic sky, or the countless times you blew out those flickering candles on top of your birthday cake, or when you managed to look at the time when it was exactly 11:11; At all those times, what wish did you end making?

If you had that chance at this very moment for a wish to come true, what wish would make? Would it be for fame and fortune? Would you be wishing for world peace? Maybe it was for someone you cared about to get better? And I know for many people who are reading this, the first thought that came in their mind, was to use their wish up to find ‘the one’ or to be forever with that one person they think about constantly.

We all want an abundant of things in our lives. But if we had one wish to have one of those things come true, what would it be? Think deeply about. What do you desire more then anything else in this world. What wish do you want to come true? 

Live, Search, and Die For It

From the moment we came onto this Earth, we were immediately introduced to the one thing that gave us a reason to live; the thing that we would search endlessly our entire lives; and the one thing we willing give up our entire life for: Love.

As a child, we were led to believe in happily ever afters and that love was easily obtained. We felt that each person in the world had their very own Prince Charming or Cinderella awaiting for them to live out their very own fairytale. As naive as we were, the concept of love was never so simplistic and pure. Love was not dependent on looks, money, or the future, but rather what you felt for someone at that specific moment. We didn’t question it, we just believed in it.

As time passes by, we begin to learn differently. We experience for the first time how love doesn’t only bring good times, but it encompasses how heartbreak feels, how rejection feels, and regret for not taking risks we probably should of but were to scared to take. The confusions of who could be the one, to the fear of not wanting to commit to someone, and to finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with takes place, and takes over almost every aspect of your life. Our beliefs and opinions of the past are replaced or added on to as we learn how someone looks to what someone does for a living actually matters.

The complexity of love continues to grow as people around the world seem to scurry in different pathways with contrasting understandings of what love is and how to go about it. Some of us will fear love. They will want to postpone the day they feel it, for they are not ready for such a commitment; to be trusted with something so serious. They would much rather have casual relationships, flings, and have fun, until the the day they know that they have prepared themselves enough to not be stupid to let love slip through their fingertips. But they also fear that if they put themselves out there, they will only end up hurt, losing someone they care about, or even worst, not love someone enough and end up hurting them.

Others of us will embrace love. They will go searching for love with the knowledge that what they are looking for is truly the greatest feeling known to man. They constantly put their hearts out there with full knowledge that it may come back to them shattered in a million of pieces, because they believe that the risk is worth taking if they could possibly find ‘the one’. Though many of these people hearts are scarred with the damage of the many times it probably breaks, they learn not to regret it because it’s a step closer to that one person who can make having all those lasting marks of sadness worth it.

Many of us will just stand in our place, confused. Not knowing where to begin for their search for love and unsure if they even want to begin that search. They question why the greatest feeling in the world is in such a contradiction of the heartbreaks and suffering that it brings forth. They question if we are lying to ourselves to believe that there is ‘the one’, or if fate is slowly bring them closer to the person they were always meant to be with. They question why people would live, search, and die for love with such a lack of understanding of it. But maybe that’s the secret to it all, love is to great to understand.That our hearts knows a reason that even reason does not know. That in the bottom of our heart, we know that it’s worth it. That it’s worth to Live, Search, and Die for it.

To Whoever Reads This

It doesn’t take long in our lives to figure out how tough life is. How much cruelty, violences, cynicism, and hatred is truly surrounding us in this world . And it’s easy to let the weight of the world get to finally bring us down and allow it to leave us broken, and to give in to the darkness that is seemingly impossible to ever avoid.

At some point of our lives, I think it’s fair to even say we just want to give up. At some point of our lives, we become ghosts of our former selfs. Those kids who had brilliant and unlimited dreams. Those kids who once believe they could do anything in the world. The kids who still believed in the good this world still had to offer.

And at some point of our lives, we find ourselves at war, battling demons from within who are committing torturous acts towards our spirits. We discover ‘flaws’ and beat ourselves up for it. We lose hope that things can get better and sadly, we tragically give up on ourselves…thinking we’re not good enough.

But if you’re reading this, then just don’t give up on yourself and everything just yet. Hold on to the fact that you can do anything, so believe in yourself and never let anything stop you. Don’t let the demons win and bow down to depression and anguish, because you’re beautiful in every single way possible and stop thinking you have flaws, because you don’t. And don’t give in to the darkness this world has, because as much as there is so much malicious things in this world, sometime you just stop a moment to see how much beauty still lies in this world. That you and this world is worth never giving up on.